


a long weekend with curfews

by lifeispuke



Category: Over9000 (Band), The Blue Poptarts (Band), Waterparks (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Asexual Relationship, Asexuality, Asexuality Spectrum, Asperger Syndrome, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Awkward Romance, Best Friends, Bi-Curiosity, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Comfort/Angst, Deaf, Deaf Character, Developing Friendships, Dorkiness, Dorks, Dorks in Love, Drug Use, Drugs, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, High School, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, M/M, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Moving, No Sex, No Smut, Pansexual Character, Recreational Drug Use, References to Drugs, San Francisco, Teen Angst, Teen Crush, Teen Romance, Teen Years, Teenage Dorks, Teenage Drama, Teenagers, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29595609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeispuke/pseuds/lifeispuke
Summary: awsten knight isn't expecting much when a new kid, who happens to be deaf, moves to his school from san francisco, california. he isn't expecting to be treated normally for once in his life, isn't expecting for his friend group to experience massive changes, and he certainly isn't expecting to fall for the new kid.× title taken from 'hawaii (stay awake)' by waterparks
Relationships: Awsten Knight/Geoff Wigington, Awsten Knight/Jawn Rocha, Grace Marie/Otto Wood
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter 1

Awsten Knight was one of the few people in Houston who believed in fate; of course, he wasn't the only one, but most people thought that you could control your future. That your life was in your hands and in yours alone. And they were right, but only to a point.

He wasn't paying attention to where he was going, on that day in October, and that was when the boy ran into him.

Awsten's head had been buried in a book, _Treasure Island,_ by Robert Louis Stevenson, and had not been looking where he was going.

He heard the first of two bells ring, signalling that he had only a minute or so left to get to class on time. He disregarded it, though -- he focused on rules and routines, and he had to finish this chapter, or something bad would happen, he knew it. He always had to end in between two chapters when he went to Geography. Three pages left.

A body slammed into Awsten's, causing him to fall backwards on his back, the thick, hardcover book colliding with his nose.

"S-Sorry," he stuttered quietly, barely moving his mouth. He pulled the book off of his face, and sat up, examining the tall boy who had just ran into him.

Awsten didn't recognize him, finally concluding that he must be new. A pit of worry started to bubble in his stomach. Someone new? He had just gotten used to everyone who was already there. And now somebody else was being added to the mix, messing with Awsten's routines and schedules. This wasn't good.

Whoever had just bumped into him, had wavy light brown hair that reached his shoulders, and bright blue-green eyes. The stranger wore tight black jeans, blue Converse, and a gray sweatshirt zipped up all the way.

Awsten looked for any hint of recognition in the boy's face. He just stared at him, rather blankly. Perhaps he hadn't heard him?

"Sorry," he repeated, louder and more confident this time. He made sure to enunciate clearly, as well.

The blue-eyed boy's mouth formed into an circle, as if he had just understood. But Awsten still hadn't gotten a word out of this new person, and that frustrated him quite a bit.

Just as he was standing up, steadying himself and making sure he kept his page, the second bell went off. He cursed in his head. He hadn't finished his chapter, and he was going to be late for class. Even though the first mattered to him a great deal more, he knew his temperamental narcissist of a teacher would take no excuses, and it was all the fault of this curly-haired new kid.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small movement. The newcomer was waving. He waved in return, and the boy stood up.

He watched as he pulled a pencil and a piece of paper out of his pocket. He was seeming to ignore the bell.

Awsten watched as he scribbled something down on the paper, then showed it to him.

He skimmed it, then read the messy scrawl: _I can't hear you, I'm deaf_.

Oh. That's why he wasn't paying attention to the bell.

The pink-haired boy stared at him, not saying anything.

Something else was written down.

_I can read lips, though, but only if they're looking at me. I'm Geoff, by the way._

He held his hand out, silently asking for the paper. When Geoff placed it in his hands, he wrote, in straight, neat letters: _I'm Awsten._

"H-Hi, A-Awsten?" Geoff said, even though it sounded more like a question. His voice was wobbly and sounded sort of new, like it had barely been used. Awsten assumed it was because he was deaf and wasn't used to talking.

Did Geoff always communicate with people through writing? Or did he know sign language? Awsten knew a little bit, since his mother insisted on him learning when he was little, but he had forgotten most of it by now. He only remembered the alphabet, and some simple phrases, like _Thank you_ , _You're welcome_ , _I'm sorry_ , and _I love you_. He could understand it more than he could speak it.

Despite all of this, Awsten thought Geoff had a nice voice, and he truly wished that he would be able to hear it more.

But just then, Awsten heard the clacking of high-heeled shoes -- shoes that belonged to the dean. He figured that he was at least five minutes late now, and he didn't want to be any later.

He darted off in the general direction of his Geography classroom, his nose buried in _Treasure Island_ once more, leaving Geoff to wonder why the smaller boy had just run away.


	2. Chapter 2

"There's a new kid," Otto stated when he sat down at the lunch table. He picked through his sandwich, plucking the pickles off and popping them into his mouth. "He's deaf," he said, with a full mouth of food.

"Oh, yeah," Grace piped up. "He's in my biology class. I didn't catch his name though."

Jawn nodded. "Mr. Armstrong said there was gonna be a new kid in Calc."

Awsten's head snapped up when he heard his friends talking about Geoff. He didn't think the news would get around so quickly. "H-His name is Geoff," he offered quietly, taking a bite from the pasta his mom had packed him for lunch.

"Huh," Jawn said, contemplating this. He leaned back against the chair and crossed his legs on the table, even though it was against the rules. "Did you talk to him, Aws?"

Awsten was grateful for his friends. They were cool, and they acted like there wasn't something wrong with him, even though deep down, he knew something was bad. Otto had asked him if he wanted to sit with them on his first day of freshman year. He remembered it distinctly, because the three had been sophomores at the time. He assumed that they felt bad for him, and they just ended up becoming good friends.

He nodded faintly after realizing that they were staring at him expectantly, waiting for an answer. "O-Oh, y-yeah."

Quite truthfully, he was more comfortable around Otto, Grace, and Jawn than he was with his family. He spoke more around the trio, as opposed to the nods, smiles, and _'Good morning_ 's his family received.

"Is he cute?" Otto asked finally, earning him a smack on the arm from his girlfriend. Jawn laughed.

"Don't ask him that!" she scolded, as Awsten blushed.

_Was_ Geoff cute? He didn't know. He knew all of his friends were straight, and that maybe Otto was asking for Awsten, but he didn't know what he was. Relationships were the furthest thing from his cluttered mind.

"Ask him to sit with us," Jawn suggested, nodding and pointing to where Geoff was sitting alone.

Awsten's body froze up, and he immediately started shaking his head. It was bad enough someone new had joined the school; he didn't want the dynamic of his friend group to be ruined, as well.

" _Fine_ , I will," Otto said, and before Awsten could protest, he had stood up and was walking over to Geoff's table.

He watched as they exchanged notes, writing back and forth on a small scrap of paper before Geoff stood up and followed Otto to the table.

Awsten tucked his head down, staring into his pasta and poking at it with a plastic fork.

It was just like Otto to do something like this. But Awsten had to admit, he did feel sort of bad for Geoff. He couldn't compare autism to being deaf, but he still knew it must be difficult.

He ignored Grace and Jawn as they said their hellos. They knew Geoff couldn't hear them, right? He did remember him saying that he could read lips, but that was only if they were speaking clearly, enunciating each word. Awsten had been friends with them for over two years, and he had gotten used to their habits. He knew they smoked joints, so, naturally, words were slurred. They weren't high right now, but they weren't speaking carefully, as Geoff told him earlier.

Otto sat down, next to Grace and across from Jawn, and the three resumed whatever conversation they had been having before the topic of the newcomer was brought up. He wasn't quite sure what it was, as he hadn't joined in, even though they invited him several times.

He tuned them out as he looked at Geoff, who was staring blindly out the window. Why did Otto even invite him? 

Awsten felt as though he should say something. Well, not exactly, but he thought he should make some form of communication. So, he pulled a fresh notebook out of his backpack, found a pen, and started to write.

_Hi_ , he wrote in his messy, slanted handwriting, and slid the pen and notebook over to him.

He saw a small smile form on Geoff's face as he picked up the writing utensil and wrote something in return. _Hi. Awsten, right?_

Most people spelled his name wrong, including some of his family members. All of the Christmas cards from his aunt and uncle said Austin, and he didn't have the heart to correct them. Sure, he had written his name down for Geoff earlier in the day, but he hadn't expected him to remember, or care.

He nodded, smiling back at the brunet. Maybe this wasn't going to be as bad as he thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings :: panic attack, mention of the f-slur, brief mention of blood, anxiety

_What grade are you in?_ , Geoff wrote and passed the notebook back to Awsten.

He peered at the loopy handwriting for a moment, still tuning out his friends, before picking up the pen and answering. _I'm a junior_ , he scribbled after contemplating it for a few seconds.

 _Oh I'm a junior too,_ Awsten read when he received the book again. When he looked up, Geoff was smiling at him, rather tightly. He hunched over, scrawling, _Where did you move here from?_

Geoff took the pen and paper excitedly, much to Awsten's confusion, and started writing. _California, more specifically San Francisco. I've only been in Houston for a week, but (no offense) it's kinda crappy compared to what I'm used to. We left because there was too many memories of my mom, and I was getting bullied a lot for being deaf, and I don't know why my dad thought moving to Texas was going to fix anything. I miss my best friend a lot, though, but I guess it's okay because_ _s_ _he was starting to hang out a lot with other people and_ _she was sorta turning into an asshole. Shit, sorry for rambling. Have you lived here your whole life?_

Awsten stifled a small gasp when he saw the amount of writing on the paper. He knew it wasn't actually a lot, and that it just looked like it, because of Geoff's handwriting, but he tended to have sensory overloads from small things that most people wouldn't have been bothered by. He ignored Geoff signing, _Are you okay?_ (it was one of the few phrases he still remembered), and tucked his head down and neatly printed his answer. _Yeah, I've actually never been out of Texas._

A frown was visible on the brunet's face as he jotted something down. _That must suck, but at least it'll be cool when you do leave for the first time._

Awsten shrugged, not particularly caring. He knew Geoff was trying, but he just gave off an aura that he didn't like. He wasn't sure what it was.

Maybe it was the fact that he was from California. Awsten knew for a fact that a lot of people from there were stuck up and snobby. They thought they were better than everyone else because they had money. Geoff, of course, was not like this at all, and Awsten knew that, but he was not willing to admit it.

His gaze shifted downwards as he began to write again. _Do you have some type of mental thing? I don't mean to be rude but the way you're acting definitely has symptoms of autism. And I know that because I want to be a psychologist and I was taking a program for it at my old school._

Did this kid know how to write one sentence at a time? And quite frankly, what kind of seventeen year old wanted to be a _psychologist_?

However, despite his issues with having no filter, he didn't say any of this. Instead of snatching it rudely, like he wanted to, he gently took it from Geoff's hands.

_Yeah, I'm autistic, I have AS. That's Asperger's Syndrome. And Otto and Grace and Jawn asked to be friends with me so just so you know I didn't force them to be friends with me they wanted to it was them i promise i didn't make them do anything they asked i think they felt bad because people were making fun of me and slamming me into lockers and calling me retarded and someone made my nose bleed because they punched me and kept calling me the f word not fuck the other one i don't know why though because i'm not gay i don't like boys but i don't like girls either i don't like anyone everyone's gonna be mean eventually i shouldn't get close to them otto and grace and jawn are nice though they're the only nice people here everyone else here is mean the principal and the teachers don't believe me or my friends so they don't get in trouble but they never check the cameras and i don't know why they chased me home once after school and they tried to hit me the kids not the teachers that's illegal so is chasing people home to hit them but they didn't hit me and i didn't tell anyone other than jawn but you know that too now please don't tell anyone they can't know that i'm_

The pencil slipped out of his hands. He didn't realize that he wrote that much. It was almost two pages in the span of a minute.

Geoff was following along as Awsten was writing, and his heart began to break for the pink-haired boy. It wasn't like he had gone through anything too different. There were assholes in Houston, just like there were in San Francisco. But Awsten seemed so pure, and so gentle, and so incapable of harm, that he felt an immediate hatred to anyone that had ever hurt him.

He also couldn't help but notice that he stopped writing right in the middle of a thought. He wanted to know what he was going to say, but at the time, he was more worried about the well-being of the boy next to him.

"A-Awsten," he tried, in his wobbly voice, and the other three at the table looked up, but they weren't looking at Geoff.

They were looking at Awsten, who was seemingly in the middle of a panic attack.

His hands were covering his face, and he was hyperventilating. He was making low whimpers, that Geoff couldn't hear, obviously, but were loud enough to startle Jawn who was sitting next to him on the other side of the table.

Geoff stared, dumbfounded. Was this somehow his fault? It probably was. He felt guilty, and he usually never felt guilty without a reason.

He watched as Jawn gently touched his arm with his hand, saying something, most likely to get him to calm down, and eventually kneel next to him, rubbing his knee.

Geoff felt a small pang of jealousy, but he had no clue where it was coming from. Maybe it was because he used to comfort Chloe like that before he moved. He decided to ignore it.

Whatever Jawn was telling him, didn't appear to be working. Even though he was nodding, he still wasn't calming down. In fact, he began to shake more violently.

Geoff had had panic attacks before, but none of them had ever quite been this bad.

Awsten felt as though he was having a heart attack. Of course, he wasn't -- he had experienced enough panic attacks to know that this was what it was, but it didn't change the feeling. No matter how much he grasped for air, he couldn't get any. He was suffocating.

He heard Jawn next to him, whispering that it was going to be okay, and that it was okay to freak out sometimes, and it was also what Otto and Grace were saying, more or less. But he was thankful that only Jawn had gotten up -- they had remembered that being surrounded by people only made it worse for him.

He couldn't even place what had brought this one on. Was it spilling all of his secret information on Geoff? Was it feeling the need to write so much to intimidate Geoff so maybe he would leave him alone, despite it failing miserably? (He was still next to Awsten, watching in shock.) Was it just Geoff's existence im general? He didn't know, and it didn't seem like he would be getting answers anytime soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Awsten ended up having to go home. The panic attack had affected his asthma a great deal, and it only worsened when he couldn't find his inhaler. Shortly after the lunch period ended, his mother had arrived to take him home.

Geoff felt extremely guilty -- he knew the panic attack was at least partially his fault. He didn't _mean_ to make him freak out like that. No matter how much Awsten's friends reassured him that it wasn't his fault, he still didn't feel inclined to believe them.

When Awsten got home, he headed straight for his room. His mother had to leave work to come get him, so she had to head right back after dropping him off at home. At least he was able to calm down in the car.

He had the house to himself. Instances like this were a rare occasion -- his parents didn't seem to trust him with anything, because he was autistic. He wasn't a complete invalid. His brain just worked differently than theirs did. It didn't mean he was incapable of doing anything for himself.

It was also why he spent as much time as he could at the houses of Otto, Jawn, or Grace.

Otto's parents were either lawyers or another equally boring office job. They were barely ever home, so whenever the four were there, they got free run of pretty much everything. They could bring snacks into the bedroom and not worry about them freaking out over crumbs. The trio, excluding Awsten, didn't have to hide or air out the rooms when they smoked pot.

Jawn's parents were the coolest out of any parents that Awsten had ever known. They weren't crazy obsessed with good grades -- of course, they wanted him to do well, but they didn't freak out if he got a failing grade. They were cool with them smoking pot, as long as they stayed inside the house and made sure it wasn't laced. And they loved Jawn's friends. 

That left Grace's parents. Awsten did not like them, at all. They barely let them have any privacy while they were there, and were much too invested in her life. They couldn't even sneak a single joint into her parents' house without being questioned. 

Hanging out at Awsten's place was completely out of the question -- his parents (his mom, at least) would absolutely flip after learning that he has more than one friend, and that they actually enjoy being friends with him. They would go on and on about how proud they were of their little boy, and he had gotten enough of that already without the prospect of friends. He couldn't even do a simple task without someone in his family praising him like he was a toddler who just learned to walk.

He wasn't a fucking invalid.

That was why most of the time was spent at either Otto's or Jawn's house. 

Awsten stretched out on his bed, curling his toes so that they hung over the footboard. His sweatshirt bunched up as he slid down, pouting for no apparent reason.

He didn't _need_ to go home, as it turned out his inhaler had been stuck underneath his binder in his backpack. But he was glad that he did, grateful he would get to be alone for a few hours before anyone got home.

He knew he could go downstairs and have the living room to himself, but since he had collapsed on his bed and was now in an extremely comfortable position, he opted against it.

Now that he was alone and calm, he had time to think. For Awsten, that wasn't necessarily a good thing. He usually ended up making up scenarios in his head, in which people he cared about would say harsh and rough things, and get upset with the actual people. He would also think about something simple too much, to the point where his nails were bitten down to stubs and he was on the verge of tears.

He sighed, rolling over and breathing into his pillow. It still smelled like the detergent his mom used for the linens, from when she had done the laundry a few days earlier.

Awsten inhaled the scent, his mind wandering to Geoff.

There wasn't really anything negative about him that Awsten knew of -- his general vibe was what he didn't like.

He didn't like the way he got excited about the wrong things, or his _I'm from California, but my dad made me move to stinky Houston and it's boring here_ demeanor. He knew of course, that was an exaggeration, but he was too stubborn to care.

His friends seemed to like him, though, so he figured he would probably be sitting with them at lunch for a while. Might as well get used to him.

Awsten didn't even realize that he was tired until he started to drift off. As reluctant as he was to go to sleep, he also hated feeling drowsy. He let his eyes flutter shut.

It was a few hours later when he felt someone gently nudging his shoulder. 

He opened his eyes groggily to see that it was his younger sister, Gracie, who was standing over him.

"Aws, hon, you have to get up, " she said softly. "Dad just got home and Mom says dinner's almost ready."

After receiving a nod of confirmation and watching him sit up, she left again, and he heard her footsteps on the staircase.

He didn't remember being so tired, but the nap he had just taken had benefited him greatly. He felt well rested and not exhausted, which was definitely an improvement.

Awsten took his phone off of his nightstand and opened it, checking his messages.

There were a bunch of texts from the group chat with him, Jawn, Grace, and Otto, all of them asking if he was okay and if they needed to beat anyone up for him. A thin smile curled onto his lips. It was nice having people care about you.

He would answer them a little later.

There was one more message, from a number he didn't have saved to his phone. He read it: 

_uh. hii. its geoff. from earlier. otto gave me ur number, he said you would be cool w it? uh anyway i was wondering if ur okay now and that im sorry if i triggered any of it. and im sorry you had to go through that stuff._

He blinked, trying to comprehend this. Why did he care enough to text him, to check on him, to _apologize_? He was too used to people not caring at all, or either caring too much. But Geoff didn't pry. He flat out apologized. Awsten liked how straightforward that was.

It took him a few moments to come up with a decent response.

_hi. yeah its cool. and yeah i think im good now but thanks for asking. i dont really think it was ur fault but if it was then i accept your apology. i know it was an accident. and its okay it doesnt happen as much anymore._

It takes him a lot of courage to press send.


	5. Chapter 5

Jawn usually wasn't one to ask for help. He preferred to figure things out on his own, without anyone else's attempt to aid him.

But being here, knocking on Otto's door at midnight, was a clear violation of that.

He bit his lip, wondering if this was a bad idea. The lights were on, and he thought he could faintly smell weed, so his parents probably weren't home.

Maybe telling Otto wasn't such a great idea.

Jawn turned around on his heel, about to walk home, when he heard the door open behind him. He deflated slightly. No turning back now.

He turned back around, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

"Hey! What's up?" Otto asked, holding the joint in between his fingers. He was leaning against the door frame in his pajamas, his curly brown hair looking like a mess.

"Uh." Where was he supposed to start? "Can I come in? I, uh. I gotta tell you something."

He frowned. "Yeah, sure," he said, before sticking the joint back in his mouth. He held the door open for Jawn, closing it once he was inside.

Otto's house was always so clean. Starch white, with modern furniture. When he wasn't stinking it up with pot, it smelled like lemon-scented cleaner.

"My parents aren't home," he said casually, leading him into the basement, where his bedroom was. "So you can be as loud as you want. The neighbors aren't home, either."

Otto's room looked nothing like the rest of the house. Dirty laundry littered the floor, but it didn't smell. There was a battered TV sitting on a table across from his bed, which was never made. The walls were painted brown, and were covered in band posters. He put them up to hide the pot leaf they had drawn on the wall together when they were freshmen. God, that seemed like such a long time ago.

Jawn stepped over a pair of crumpled jeans, sitting on his desk chair, as Otto plopped down on his bed, sitting cross-legged.

The brunette offered him the joint, to which he shook his head. That was the _last_ thing he needed right now.

He shrugged, taking a drag. "So, what's so important that you couldn't call me?"

He looked around the room, trying to come up with an excuse so he wouldn't have to tell him. After a few moments of trying, he had nothing. He took a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I, uh. I don't think I'm straight."

"Really? What a shocker," he replied sarcastically, laughing. "You haven't acted straight since the eighth grade, amigo."

Jawn rolled his eyes. "You're an ass."

He ignored his comment. "So are you gay or bi or something else?"

"Uh." He was getting nervous. But it was too late to back out. "Pan, I think."

Otto hummed in response. "And _why_ did you have to come over at midnight to tell me this?"

He slumped down in his chair, covering his face with his hands. "'Cause I don't fucking know what to do."

"I'm sure your parents would be cool with it. Or do you have, like, internalized homophobia or something? Or is it-"

Jawn breathed out heavily before speaking. "I like Awsten."

" _Oh._ "

"Yeah."

"I didn't really see that coming."

"Shut up, dickface."

"Yup, love you too."

"But seriously," he muttered, knotting his hands in his lap. "I don't even know if he's into guys, let alone _me_."

"To be honest, I don't think he's into anyone. Like, boys _or_ girls."

Jawn shrugged, frowning. "Maybe."

"How long has it been, though?" He put the joint out, mashing it like a cigarette onto his nightstand. "Like, since you started liking him?"

"Uh. Middle of sophomore year, I think?"

"How the fuck have you had a crush for two years and kept it a secret for that fuckin' long?"

Jawn shrugged. "I don't know. But I really fucking like him and I don't know what to do."

"Then do whatever you did for the past two years."

"It's getting worse now."

"What do you mean?" he asked, leaning back against the wall. He picked at a fraying thread on his shorts.

"Uh." He turned a dark shade of red. How was he supposed to tell his best friend this? "Like, before it was innocent and I wanted to hold his hand and stuff, and now-" He faltered struggling to word it in a way that didn't seem weird as shit.

Otto burst out laughing before Jawn could even finish his sentence. "He makes you horny!" he cackled. " You wanna fuck him, you-! Hey!"

He had picked up a notebook from behind him on the desk and thrown it at his best friend's head.

"Do you ever fuckin' shut up? Jesus."

He quickly regained his composure before continuing. "I think you should tell him."

"Why the _fuck_ would I do that?"

"Because you'll never fucking know if you don't say anything to him first."

"You know how he is, though. If I tell him, and he doesn't feel the same way, then he'll probably avoid me for the rest of the year."

"Grace didn't know I liked her until a year ago."

"You and Grace are different."

"I asked her out and it took her three _weeks_ to say yes, apparently 'cause she was scared of ruining the friendship or something."

"That's different."

"Hm, not really."

"Whatever."

"He's gonna find out at one point, though."

"I know."

"Don't you want to be in control of that?"

He shrugged. "I guess."

Otto didn't answer.

"Just not yet."


	6. Chapter 6

Awsten ran his hand through his pink hair, biting his lip as he looked at the time on his phone. It was almost two in the morning.

And he was _still_ texting Geoff.

He had definitely been wrong about him -- he wasn't a stuck up Californian like he had thought.

He was actually really sweet. Maybe it was because he knew what it was like to be bullied because of some bodily bullshit you can't control. Maybe it was just because he felt bad.

But Awsten _wanted_ to be his friend. _Wanted_ to spend more time with him. He definitely didn't see that coming.

_its getting pretty late, do u wanna get to bed?_

His phone lit up with a notification. He read the text and concluded that Geoff must be some sort of mind reader.

He quickly typed out a response: _uh tbh i dont really wanna go to bed but im kinda tired and i have to wake up pretty early so if its ok i wanna try to get some sleep :/ uhh sorry : <_

Awsten received an answer in less than a minute.

_its okay you dont have to apologize!! i should probably get some sleep too so,, gnight aws xx_

He didn't like the way that his eyes lit up, or the way his heart fluttered at the nickname and the two x's at the end of the text. It was probably just the lack of sleep. 

_gn geoff x_

He hit send, wondering if he was going to regret the x. Knowing him and his thought process, it was likely.

Awsten put his phone face down on his nightstand, laying down on his back and looking up at the ceiling.

The glow in the dark stars that he had put up there when he was little were still there, glowing a light green hue. It was mostly stars, but there was a moon, two planets that looked like Saturn, and a handful of scattered comets.

He breathed out heavily, kicking the blanket off of him and throwing his feet over the side. He picked a pair of socks up off of the floor and put them on, heading for his bedroom door.

Awsten wanted to see _real_ stars.

The weather in the suburbs of Houston was pretty harsh for early October -- it was only fifty degrees, which was quite cold to Texas natives. But his sweatpants and pullover sweatshirt would have to do for now.

He padded down the hall to another door, behind which was the attic. Making sure to keep quiet, he twisted the doorknob and opened it, starting up the dusty staircase. He skipped the creaky fourth step.

It was dark in the attic. It also stunk of something Awsten couldn't quite place his finger on, and was littered with piles of cardboard boxes. He couldn't see the writing, because the one window was on the other side of the room, but he knew they all said something sentimental on them, due to the fact that his mother was a sap. They all contained toys, books, or clothes that belonged to Gracie or Awsten when they were little. She really couldn't throw anything away.

Even though the boxes were placed randomly, there was a map in his mind. He came up here at least three or times a week, so navigating the maze had become muscle memory.

Awsten walked forward, stepping over two haphazardly placed crates, and finally reached his destination: the window.

The pale glow from the moon outside cast inky shadows over the floor and walls. The shadows from the trees looked like claws, but they no longer scared the pink-haired boy like they did when he was younger.

He reached out, latching onto the two symmetrical handles of the window panels, and pushed forward, opening the window. A short gust of wind blew into his face and he smiled.

Securing a firm grip on the window frame, he pulled himself up, and climbed out of the window, onto the roof.

The roof on the Knight family's house wasn't too slanted, which made it perfect for sitting comfortably and not falling off.

Awsten had been coming up here at night for almost two years, and looking at the stars usually always calmed him down enough to get some sleep. He hoped that this was the case tonight, too.

He looked up at the sky, pouting after realizing there weren't too many out. There was, of course, the moon, only a sliver. He quickly spotted the Big Dipper and the Little Dipper. There were a couple of colorful dots a little larger than the stars, and he recognized them to be planets. The orange-y one was Venus, and the blue-tinted one was Uranus.

Due to the fact that he usually studied the sky, his mind began to wander because of the lack of stars.

Awsten saw the look on Geoff's face when he told him that he was autistic. It wasn't one of pity, but one of worry. He was much more used to the former, and he only received the latter from those nosey school counselors that he hated.

But he felt as though the blue-eyed boy was genuinely concerned about him, and, as weird as it sounded, it was nice to have someone be concerned, rather than be told that they're so sorry and what a poor and brave boy he is. It was strange, and off-putting, to get apologies from psychologists and teachers and even family members, from a lot of people he hardly knew.

He wished he hadn't said good night to him; he was enjoying the conversation, enjoying talking to him. He would text him back, if it weren't for the fact that he was probably asleep by now, and that he left his phone in his bedroom.

A small yellow movement against the deep blue sky jolted him from his thoughts. Awsten quickly recognized it as a shooting star, and immediately squeezed his eyes shut, about to make a wish. The same wish he's wished for on every birthday, every shooting star, every 11:11.

_I wish I wasn't different._


	7. Chapter 7

Geoff was just on the edge of sleep when his phone began to vibrate from his nightstand. He couldn't hear it, but he saw it shaking and then falling off.

He frowned and reached over the side of his bed and picked it up, now fully awake.

It was a text from Chloe, his best friend back in San Francisco.

_geeeoooofffffff i miss youuuuuuuuuu why did ur stupid dad make you move to stinky texas i want a hugggggg :(( but can you skype nowwwwww im lonely n i wanna hear what stinky texas is likeeee_

He felt a thin smile etch onto his lips. Even though she had been starting to hang out with other people more, Chloe was still his best friend and he would do anything for her. He sat up, grabbing his laptop off of the table near his bed and turning on his lamp before typing out an answer.

_chloeeeee !!! i miss you too biTcH and yes i can skype now ill call you in a seccc_

Her reply came in less than a minute.

_YAYAYAYAYAY_

Geoff opened his laptop, turning it on and entering the password. He opened Skype and hit Chloe's contact. He hit the call button after making sure that it was on mute, so he didn't wake up his dad.

She picked up a few rings in, and broke out in a grin, waving vigorously. Her hair was down, and she was wearing the Angry Birds sweatshirt he had given to her as a joke for Christmas two years ago. The wall behind her had a Muse poster.

They had to use Skype to talk, because the FaceTime screen was too small to talk in sign language and be understood. But he liked this -- staying up late, talking on Skype because they didn't want to text. It felt nostalgic. He missed her.

He smiled, waving back.

_How are you?_ , she signed eagerly, pushing her blonde hair behind her ears after she did so.

_I'm pretty good_ , he replied. _Almost everyone here is Conservative, which is a real problem for my gay ass._

Chloe laughed, her brown eyes crinkling. _Oh, yeah, I forgot to ask you. Any cute boys in Houston?_

Geoff blushed a dark crimson color. There _was_ a cute boy in Houston. But he didn't think he liked him very much, to be honest.

He looked back up just in time to see her grin with excitement, the screen shaking a little bit as she bounced on her bed.

_What's his name?_ , she signed eagerly, smiling widely.

Geoff blushed again. He knew he couldn't tell Chloe that there wasn't someone -- she was always able to tell when he was lying.

_Tell me!_ , she signed. _Or at least show me a picture?_ She pouted, giving him puppy eyes.

Otto had sent him pictures of all of them when he sent him their phone numbers. He said it was for their contact photo.

The brunette blushed a third time, picking up his phone and going through his texts to find one of the pictures of Awsten.

He found it, studying it for a moment before holding it up to the camera on his laptop for her to see.

It looks like a pretty recent photo, because his hair looks almost the same as it did earlier. He's staring up at the camera with an annoyed expression. It looks like he's in a dining room, and there's a cat sitting in his lap.

As soon as Chloe saw it, her entire face lit up. She started signing quickly, almost too fast for Geoff to understand. _He's so cute! What's his name? What's he like?_

_Can I text you? My hands hurt_ , he signed. It wasn't a lie -- his hands were killing him, and right now, texting would be much easier than signing. _  
_

But he also knew that if he started talking about Awsten, then he wouldn't stop until his hands were limp with exhaustion.

Geoff opened his messages and started writing one to Chloe. Before he could start though, he got a text from her.

_shittt my laptops gonna die n the charger is my moms room so i cant plug it in we can text but i have to hang up on skype ://_

Just as he finished reading it, the screen went black on his computer, signalling that she had left the call. He pouted in response, but turned it off and put it away after typing out a quick reply.

He turned his lamp off and laid back in bed, beginning to write the long message that she had requested.

_his name is awsten (pronounced austin but its spelled differently) and hes my age and hes so fucking cute his hair is pink HIS HAIR IS FUCKING PINK thats so cute i cant i bet he has a cute voice hes got aspergers syndrome and he was bullied really badly for it and i want to fucking beaT SOMEONE UP but i cant also this is weird but his handwriting is really nice its tall and thin and his gs and ys are rlly swoopy thats weird sorry he had a panic attack earlier and he had to go home i think it was my fault even tho he kept saying it wasnt when we were texting idk OH ALSO HE PLAYS GUITAR GUITAR PLAYERS ARE HOT AS FUCK_ _chloe im gay_

After reading it over, he sent it, looking out his window and waiting for a response.

He couldn't help but wonder how Chloe would react. He's had crushes before, but they had only lasted a month at the most, and she had always freaked out and tried to get Geoff to ask the guy on a date, because that's what most girls do, apparently.

But no one wanted to be the deaf kid's boyfriend, and he had learned this early on. And as guilty as he felt for hoping for it, he wished no one would like Awsten and his only option would be Geoff. Unless he just wasn't into _anybody_. It wasn't fair, though. All he wanted was to get his way, just once. Was that really too much to ask for?

_THIS IS SO CUTE A W W W YOU RLLY LIKE HIM THIS IS SO SWEET I SHIP IT OTP OTP OTP_

He smiled to himself. This was the reaction he was hoping for. Over the top, but over the top just the right amount. Chloe's amount of over the top.

Geoff missed that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings :: slight ableism (i think that's how you spell it?)

Awsten rolled out of bed the next morning feeling exhausted.

He knew it was his fault for staying up on the roof so late, but he still tried to come up with an excuse for why he was not the one to blame.

He tried, and failed.

The first thing he did after using the bathroom and brushing his teeth was check his phone. The group chat had been silent overnight, which was strange. They were usually up until the early hours of morning, sometimes just spamming random letters or weird pictures that really didn't need to exist.

Awsten's eyes flitted up, and he practically had a heart attack when he saw the time -- it was almost ten o'clock. He was late for school, and no one fucking thought to wake him up, and where the fuck was his cat, he didn't see her yesterday, and-- Oh. It was Saturday.

He breathed a sigh of relief as he laid back down in bed, hoping to be able to sleep for a little longer. The rest of his family would be up by now, the idiots. Who would willingly wake up before ten on a Saturday?

Middle-aged dads who get up at six every morning, that's who. This dad in particular, though, happened to wake up his wife and daughter in the process. Good thing Awsten was a heavy sleeper.

He was almost out again when he was woken up for a second time. This time, it was by his father, sounding angry.

"Awsten! You have to wake up!" The light flickered on, and he reflexively brought his arm up to his face, shielding his eyes.

"But it's Saturday," he groaned, pulling the thin blanket over his head. Of course his father would try to get him up earlier than necessary.

The blanket was pulled off of him, and he was immediately blinded by the bright yellow light. He hissed, burying his head underneath his pillow.

"Awsten," his dad repeated, softer this time. "Bud, you have to get up. How late were you up last night?"

"Ten," he lied, mumbling in a groggy voice. It was actually closer to four o'clock, but there was no way he was letting his dad know that.

No one knew about his nightly lounges on the roof, staying up to stare at the sky. He intended to keep it a secret, and he didn't plan on sharing it with anybody, ever.

Those moments belonged to him and him alone.

"I don't believe that," he said, interrupting Awsten's thoughts. "But we have to stuff to do today, so. You. Up."

"You mean _you_ have things to do today," he replied stiffly, still half asleep. But his statement was true -- it was his parents who needed to go to Wal-Mart for who knows what later, not Awsten.

He didn't particularly like Wal-Mart. He was convinced that the massive corporation was trying to poison and brainwash the population. His paranoia had been bad lately.

"Oh, did you have other things to do today?" his dad asked in the _I'm your parent and I make the rules_ tone that every adult with children seemed to possess.

Awsten sat up, glaring at his father in the doorway. There was no use laying down anymore -- he was fully awake now, his eyes having adjusted to the light. "I'll ask Geoff if he can go to the mall," he answered bluntly, opening his phone.

Although he was not looking at the older man, he knew that his eyebrows were raised. "Who's Geoff?"

"My friend," he said coldly, refusing to meet his gaze. He started a new group chat, adding Otto, Jawn, Grace, and Geoff to it.

He could tell his dad thought he was lying, but right now, he was beyond caring. 

"Wow, new friend? That makes, what, four?" His father was talking in the _I'm so proud of my delinquent son_ voice.

He _hated_ that voice.

"Five," he said through gritted teeth. "If you count Travis."

Travis was the school body president, and he was nice enough. Sometimes he sat at their table during lunch, and while he did make immature and dirty jokes often, he was always polite and never made fun of Awsten. He knew Travis considered them friends, but they were nowhere near as close as Awsten was with Jawn, or Otto, or Grace. He had his phone number, and they texted regularly, if that meant anything.

The eldest Knight hummed in response, not realizing that he had upset his son. "Whatever," he said, starting to walk out of the room. "Go to the mall with your _friend_."

If Awsten hadn't just gotten his way, he definitely would've made a remark about the way he emphasized friend, like it was singular. He had more than one.

He looked back down at his phone, starting his text to the new group chat.

_hi pls tell me one of you can go to the mall today my parents are gonna make me go to walmart w them p l s_

Awsten's finger hovered over the blue button for a minute. Would it be weird to ask Geoff to go, or would it be worse to exclude him altogether, after he had been welcomed by the group?

He shrugged it off, deciding to not think about it too much. He lowered his finger, dropping it down on the screen and hitting send.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings :: vomit, mentions of anxiety, implications of a panic attack

A few hours later, the five of them were piled in Otto's crappy Honda Accord. The car wasn't too nice, the paint was gray and starting to chip in some places, and one of the side view mirrors was held on with a copious amount of duct tape. Plus, it was used and over a decade old.

Otto, of course, was driving, with Grace next to him in the front passenger seat. Awsten was in the back, squished between Jawn and Geoff. 

Jawn looked uncomfortable and embarrassed, for some reason, and he was staring out the window, averting his gaze. Geoff's hands were stuffed in the pockets of his Linkin Park sweatshirt, and he, too, was looking out the window, most likely meaning he didn't want to talk. Awsten had considered asking how he knew if he liked Linkin Park if he couldn't hear the music, but he figured it would be much ruder once said out loud. 

So Awsten sat, his hands, hidden in the sleeves of his red and white striped shirt, resting in his lap and staring straight ahead.

Was it a bad idea to ask to hang out today? They all seemed _off._

For one, Jawn hadn't called him Waldo once. And Otto didn't seem high off his ass. Even Geoff didn't seem like himself, from what Awsten knew about him. Their chaotic energy just wasn't there today.

The only one that seemed normal was Grace. Her blonde hair was pulled into pigtails, held in place with two black bows with skulls on them. She was wearing a red and black tie dye t-shirt under baggy ripped overalls with holographic Doc Martens. Her nails were painted hot pink, different from the previous day's baby blue.

"So," Awsten said after a long time, desperately trying to fill the awkward silence. He knew Geoff couldn't hear him, but he thought he might be able to read his lips, as he was no longer gazing out the window.

"So," Grace repeated cheerfully, turning around in her seat to look at the three boys. She frowned when she noticed that Jawn was completely disregarding them, his hood up. "Hey, Jawn, you good?"

The redhead looked up, knocking the hood off of his head when he did so. "Oh. Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

He didn't sound fine, and Awsten was able to pinpoint that right away.

As soon as Grace turned back around, becoming engrossed in her phone, he tapped Jawn's foot with his own. He tilted his head to one side, silently asking if he was okay.

Jawn stared down for a moment, then looked up at him with a calm and shrugged, as if to say, _I will be_.

Awsten nodded in response, deciding to awkwardly pat his knee as a way of comforting him, though it was rather _un_ comfortable. He looked back toward the window, his eyes staring as far away as he could from anyone in the car, _away from Awsten_ , scared he would say or do something that could ruin their friendship. Damn Otto for squishing them together like this.

Awsten's heart pounded in his chest, so loud that Jawn probably heard it. It was loud, and it was the only thing he could hear, and they were so close to him, they were so close, _too close_. He felt something rise up in his chest, and he immediately reached over Jawn, struggling to open the door. He flung it open, hearing the tires screech as Otto scrambled to pull over, Grace's shriek as her head slammed into the headrest, Geoff's noise of alarm, as Awsten hurled up his breakfast and last night's dinner through the open doorway and onto the asphalt. He was leaning over Jawn's legs, gripping his arm tightly for support.

"S-Sorry, I'm sorry," he whined, his free hand balling into a fist as tears involuntarily began to fall from his face. He felt Jawn's hand, gently running his fingers through his hair, felt someone's hand, probably Geoff's, on his back; heard Otto asking what happened, heard Grace saying, "Babe, Aws, it's okay, don't cry."

Awsten hated it.

His anxiety and his stupid disorder or whatever the fuck it was. It had already ruined his life at home. The last thing he wanted was for it to ruin his friendships as well.

He hated being coddled, hated being treated like a baby. He couldn't tell them to stop, though, no matter how hard he tried. He knew it was only because they cared about him.

Or at least he hoped.

"I'm good," he finally managed in a small voice. "I'm okay now." He sat up, pulling the door closed with him. Jawn's hand dropped, but Geoff's stayed where it was, gently rubbing his back in a circle. It felt nice.

Chipotle napkins were pressed into his hand by Otto, most likely for him to wipe the tears and excess vomit off of his face. He wiped his mouth, crumpling them up afterwards. His sleeves would be to wipe his tears.

"We don't have to go," he said, turned around in the driver's seat. "We can go to my place or something," he offered, and Awsten shook his head violently. Enough plans had already been cancelled due to him.

Otto turned back around, shifting out of park, and getting back onto the road.


End file.
